Change is Painful - Embrace the Change

Evil replacement water cooler

Change is hard, really hard. People say they like change, and they say that they thrive in change. Lies. Most people hate it. We are creatures of habit. Wait, who moved my cheese?

Change is a significant part of my daily work, figuring out how to instill change within an organization. I live, eat, and breathe changes, yet I hate it too. One day I went to fill my water bottle at the cooler and to my dismay, the old water cooler had been replaced with a new one.

[pause — huh, look at that a new water cooler]

Then I lost it. My cool that is.

After a few expletives…

Why should I try it out? Screw you, I want the old water cooler back!

Stupid thing. I hate these fill buttons.

What the…I can go outside and fill my bottle in a rainstorm faster than this thing — [um dude, you live in Arizona, it rains like 2 inches a year here]… Uuuuuuugh. This water is taking too long to fill.

OK, deep breath, it will be ok.

Fuh. It’s not even close to being cold.

Who the hell stole the old water cooler?!!!

I went through the five stages of grief with MY (no, not really mine, the company) water cooler. More specifically, it is called the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle. Although my original shock was more akin to minor delight

 (ooo fancy, a new water cooler) 

I immediately moved to denial.

  No big deal, work goes on. Nothing to see here, move along.

Anger came flooding quickly. What happened to the old water cooler. Who took the old one. I want to kick this stupid thing, it was not performing as well as the old cooler. AARGH! Why did this change have to happen, the old one was fine; I just used it yesterday.

Bargaining came in to try to calm the firestorm. Maybe it’s just out for service. They will bring it back soon. I can try to make this work for awhile.

After a few days, it still had not returned and my depression began to deepen. The 1980’s era water cooler had disappeared, and the new, gleaming white monstrosity (it is actually smaller and nicer looking) was still sitting in its place. I just don’t understand. Why oh why did they take the old one away? Maybe I broke it, maybe there was something else I could have done to keep it there. My cube mate was saying — um, it’s a water cooler, relax, it will be just fine.

Finally, acceptance rolled in. I gave up looking for the old machine. I realized that the new water cooler was still pretty fancy. Had a safety button to press so you could get hot water instead of accidentally pouring hot water all over yourself by pressing the wrong (and worn away markings) button for scalding hot water. The water seems to taste better (no not really, just using it to convince myself). Nevertheless, I accepted it, made my piece and we work together in harmony.

It was a freaking water cooler and I flipped my lid. Now when I go and try to shove technology down the throat of a fellow employee that was not looking for a “solution,” I can empathize.

Do not discount the true grief cycle, as it really is debilitating, and those in this cycle can feel like it is a black hole with no way out. This is not to diminish the Kubler-Ross model, but to leverage its ability to help initiate change in your workplace or your home.

Accepting change is very similar to this cycle. Especially when the receiving party is not expecting a change. Humans do not like surprises, especially ones where the change affects their daily patterns.

Look, change happens. If it did not, we would be sitting around and beating on a pile of rocks and sticks grunting at each other. Change is what makes us great. We accept change, albeit reluctantly, but we accept it and evolve. Recognizing the various stages of change and adapting to this process allows for change to happen quickly.

Change can also be reviewed in the Transtheoretical Change Model that has a similarly stepped process you would see in the Kubler-Ross model. In simplistic terms the Transtheoretical Change Model is best described as:

1. Not Ready
2. Getting ready
3. Ready
4. Modify/Act
5. Sustain, continue with the new path

Now when you are the one having to initiate the change, to upset the apple cart, keep these models of change in your head, in your heart, and help guide with your hands. Realize the necessity to feel the pain that change brings, allow that pain to bring forth the empathy needed to support those in the throes of change models, and realize that change is never-ending.