Seeking Coastal Utopia

It is ok to be wrong. Suck it up. Own your mistake . Be a big kid and recognize you were wrong and move on. Holding a grudge does not win friends and creates a toxic environment for everyone around you and relationships suffer . You were wrong. Do not try to blame anyone else. Do not deflect it. Own it. “look what I can do! What? I’m peacocking?” photo by Kelly Sikkema on  Unsplash Swallowing your pride can also be about doing something that you may believe is beneath you. Like carrying out your own office trash. Sure, you have been there in the business since God was a kid, so what? Do something that is human, something that is not designated as cognitive dissonance. Stop trying to remind everyone that you are better than that. Swallow your pride. The key behind swallowing your pride is taking action to remedy it. Note “action” in that sentence. You made a decision and you are choosing to do something about it. Even though you may be embarrassed. You may feel it is ...

It’s okay. We still love you. You do not always have to win. There are those of us who are competitive, and then there are those of us who are really, really competitive. The ones that cannot stand to lose. The ones that absolutely, barring any cost, consideration, or rules, must win. Must. “I love winning” photo by Japheth Mast on  Unsplash In the effort of trying to win everything every time you burn bridges, you destroy friendships, you make relationships suffer. Winning at all costs is not a rational decision. Inter arma enim silent leges — Cicero ~60AD Specifically translated — “f or among [times of] arms, the laws fall mute .” Loosely interpreted as ignoring the rules, win no matter what, win at all costs. Winning. Winning is the only option in your eyes. You always have the first word, always having the last word, always being right — even when wildly wrong. Making your point louder does not mean it is more right. Talking over the top of others is not m...

This has to be one of my most favorite phrases ever. This is a prominent phrase stated by the character Zedd in the Sword of Truth ( series by Terry Goodkind ( Wizard’s First Rule , Chapter 7, page 77). For some reason, I have loved this remark primarily because it is so true and its simplicity. Nothing is ever easy. “Oh, maybe this is easy?” photo by Tommy Lisbin on  Unsplash Remember the first time that you tried something new? How much you struggled with it? You (your ego) may have mentally gone into it thinking, “ oh this is a piece of cake! ” Then you quickly realized as you started spending more time with it, that you underestimated the amount of effort that was required to be able to take onto this task. Oops. Well, that was not as easy as I thought . Now we need lean the words of Theodore Roosevelt for his take on the “easy” button. “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life en...

Whose eyes are you seeing the problem through? Whose perspective are you taking when you propose a solution? Are you sure that you are doing the right thing for the end-user, the customer, the person you are trying to understand? “Will this help magnify their worldview?” Photo by Ronan on  Unsplash Understanding and accomplishing an empathetic viewpoint is imperative for success. Being able to see the problem from their eyes, within their world, is necessary for building strong relationships , adoption, and overall change management. How many times has something changed within your business? The way you used to access something, or the software or hardware that you came to depend upon worked well. The system you were comfortable with? And. It. Has. Changed. Here comes the Information Technology team within your organization, almost out of the blue. They are here to solve a problem that you did not realize even existed. To provide you with a solution without unde...

How many of you have heard of the Pareto Principle? Many of you do not know who or what Pareto is all about. “these are easier to do because of Pareto” photo by Giorgio Tomassetti on  Unsplash Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto was born into this world in the mid 19th century and died in the early 20th century. However, his contributions have long lived on, making the lives of engineers, sociologists, and economists much simpler due to his identification of the distribution that is now known as the Pareto Principle. The Pareto Principle is simply described as the 80/20 rule. It can apply to a number of generalities and allow you to quickly estimate (versus calculate) distribution or allow you to understand proportional values of something quickly, without having to do the deep dive calculations to multiple decimal points. Pareto Distributions occur naturally; it certainly occurs with humans and our activities. “20% is one portion and the 50&+30% gives us the 80%” by Ar...

Something happened. Something got broken, something was ruined, something did not go as planned. Now what? “I have to hurry up and do this wrong!” photo by Christopher Johnson on  Unsplash Freak out! Nooo-oo. Can we just stop and give up? Again, no. Absolutely not! No, you cannot curl up into a fetal position and start sucking your thumb either. You need to get up, put on your big kid pants, and make a decision to move forward quickly, to recover. If anything, we gained wisdom. We now know something new! We are able to learn from that experience! We now know what NOT to do next time and we probably now know what we need to do next. Or maybe we really don’t? Your project has gone sideways and you are out of money and is significantly underwater. The staff has too many other competing priorities, is it freak out time? Certainly — but only a little. It is what it is. You cannot change what has happened. You can not change the past. Now what? Embrace ...

Are you sure that you are doing the right thing? “Should I make dinner or weld the trailer frame?” photo by Christopher Burns on  Unsplash What is the right thing? Whatever it is, are you sure you are supposed to be doing what you are doing right now? How did you get to this point, and not realize that you are working (or not working) on the right thing? I struggle with this myself even as I sit here and write this blog. I believe I should be exercising, using fitness as a stress reducer, using it to remain healthy. Staying healthy so I can provide for my family. Watch my children grow old. Should that be the most important thing? the pendulum continues to swing… photo from the Omnibus Theater My problem is the pendulum swings too far and I either spend too much time pasted to the computer working or creating blogs or I spend too much time exercising, running down the miles. I rarely ever find that right balance which forces me to ask — am I doing the right thing, ...

Hygiene is important. Cleanliness is next to godliness and all that. Hygiene is important everywhere but it is very important in the workplace. Hygiene means you do not smell like a goat. It means you try to wash your hands, face, your hair, or your body. It means you take effort in shaving or brushing your hair. “dude, brush your teeth” photo by Dan Cook on  Unsplash It even means brushing your teeth. If we are talking on the elevator and less than arm’s length away, admittedly, I do not want to smell your stale coffee breath and what you had for breakfast this morning, nor do you wish to smell my bacon-egg-jalapeno bagel let alone see it stuck in my teeth.  Men and ladies, quick tips, keep a travel-size deodorant, floss, toothbrush, and toothpaste in your work bag, just in case , it will surprise you how often you use it. “I can still smell it” photo by Paulo Silva on  Unsplash Hygiene does not need to come with overpowering scents. These scents inc...

Wait, wait. This is all wrong. It is supposed to be ”…all work and no play…” and in the reality of life, I would agree with you. I would much rather spend my day mountain biking, running, swimming, climbing, playing sports, SCUBA diving, you name it — if I could be outside, sweating bullets, that is where I would rather be.  Yet unfortunately, it is a choice. I can choose to do those things I just described without receiving income, or I can choose to work and earn money to afford those things I want to do. The balance struggle begins. But I digress…. “why are you all swimming in circles? get to work!” photo by Pascal van de Vendel on  Unsplash We work because most of us need to. When we work, we are expected to carry out tasks and activities to be remunerated for our efforts through cash, stocks, bonds, or horse trading. So how do we complete those activities? Good old-fashioned labor. Nose to the grindstone . Get. Stuff. Done. Humans are social be...

Really. In all seriousness, you need Toastmasters . “comfortable presenting” by rawpixel on  Unsplash Primarily you need it because you end sentences with the “I know right?” I needed, er, wanted it, because I knew I could be better. I was suffering from unconscious incompetence . Ego said one thing, actions, that I was blind to, spoke volumes contrary to the damn ego. A skunk cannot smell its own scent, they say. Here are some of the things I have learned on my Toastmasters journey. I would suspect you have the same issues: I would umm, ahhh, tsk, and use verbal crutches anytime I would talk to somebody in senior leadership or when I would give a presentation to people in a group setting. I needed it because I would blend my words together and I would mumble or speak too fast for anyone to clearly understand me I did not enunciate while I would annunciate, nor was I able to articulate my narrative in a succinct manner. I was unable to or did not know how to mo...