Seeking Coastal Utopia

It is ok to be wrong. Suck it up. Own your mistake . Be a big kid and recognize you were wrong and move on. Holding a grudge does not win friends and creates a toxic environment for everyone around you and relationships suffer . You were wrong. Do not try to blame anyone else. Do not deflect it. Own it. “look what I can do! What? I’m peacocking?” photo by Kelly Sikkema on  Unsplash Swallowing your pride can also be about doing something that you may believe is beneath you. Like carrying out your own office trash. Sure, you have been there in the business since God was a kid, so what? Do something that is human, something that is not designated as cognitive dissonance. Stop trying to remind everyone that you are better than that. Swallow your pride. The key behind swallowing your pride is taking action to remedy it. Note “action” in that sentence. You made a decision and you are choosing to do something about it. Even though you may be embarrassed. You may feel it is ...

It’s okay. We still love you. You do not always have to win. There are those of us who are competitive, and then there are those of us who are really, really competitive. The ones that cannot stand to lose. The ones that absolutely, barring any cost, consideration, or rules, must win. Must. “I love winning” photo by Japheth Mast on  Unsplash In the effort of trying to win everything every time you burn bridges, you destroy friendships, you make relationships suffer. Winning at all costs is not a rational decision. Inter arma enim silent leges — Cicero ~60AD Specifically translated — “f or among [times of] arms, the laws fall mute .” Loosely interpreted as ignoring the rules, win no matter what, win at all costs. Winning. Winning is the only option in your eyes. You always have the first word, always having the last word, always being right — even when wildly wrong. Making your point louder does not mean it is more right. Talking over the top of others is not m...

This has to be one of my most favorite phrases ever. This is a prominent phrase stated by the character Zedd in the Sword of Truth ( series by Terry Goodkind ( Wizard’s First Rule , Chapter 7, page 77). For some reason, I have loved this remark primarily because it is so true and its simplicity. Nothing is ever easy. “Oh, maybe this is easy?” photo by Tommy Lisbin on  Unsplash Remember the first time that you tried something new? How much you struggled with it? You (your ego) may have mentally gone into it thinking, “ oh this is a piece of cake! ” Then you quickly realized as you started spending more time with it, that you underestimated the amount of effort that was required to be able to take onto this task. Oops. Well, that was not as easy as I thought . Now we need lean the words of Theodore Roosevelt for his take on the “easy” button. “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life en...

Wake up! “do not let this escape” photo by Adrien Robert on  Unsplash This is not about getting enough sleep or using music or yoga or exercise to help someone wake from their dance with the Sandman, this is about us as a society turning a blind eye to things around us, ignoring the opportunities we have to make a change. Why have we turned into a society that is completely unconscious and underwater? It is though we hardly care about what is happening today, let alone tomorrow. Time for us to wake up. Time for us to take a step forward and make a significant change in our work and our lives today. Believe we can make a difference in our lives. We need to make the conscious choice to do something positive in our lives. What is happening right now that you can support? What is happening right now that you can take action on? What are you afraid of? “this plucky robot had the guts to try something new” photo by Dominik Scythe on  Unsplash Most of us go through ...

Hygiene is important. Cleanliness is next to godliness and all that. Hygiene is important everywhere but it is very important in the workplace. Hygiene means you do not smell like a goat. It means you try to wash your hands, face, your hair, or your body. It means you take effort in shaving or brushing your hair. “dude, brush your teeth” photo by Dan Cook on  Unsplash It even means brushing your teeth. If we are talking on the elevator and less than arm’s length away, admittedly, I do not want to smell your stale coffee breath and what you had for breakfast this morning, nor do you wish to smell my bacon-egg-jalapeno bagel let alone see it stuck in my teeth.  Men and ladies, quick tips, keep a travel-size deodorant, floss, toothbrush, and toothpaste in your work bag, just in case , it will surprise you how often you use it. “I can still smell it” photo by Paulo Silva on  Unsplash Hygiene does not need to come with overpowering scents. These scents inc...

Wait, wait. This is all wrong. It is supposed to be ”…all work and no play…” and in the reality of life, I would agree with you. I would much rather spend my day mountain biking, running, swimming, climbing, playing sports, SCUBA diving, you name it — if I could be outside, sweating bullets, that is where I would rather be.  Yet unfortunately, it is a choice. I can choose to do those things I just described without receiving income, or I can choose to work and earn money to afford those things I want to do. The balance struggle begins. But I digress…. “why are you all swimming in circles? get to work!” photo by Pascal van de Vendel on  Unsplash We work because most of us need to. When we work, we are expected to carry out tasks and activities to be remunerated for our efforts through cash, stocks, bonds, or horse trading. So how do we complete those activities? Good old-fashioned labor. Nose to the grindstone . Get. Stuff. Done. Humans are social be...

Really. In all seriousness, you need Toastmasters . “comfortable presenting” by rawpixel on  Unsplash Primarily you need it because you end sentences with the “I know right?” I needed, er, wanted it, because I knew I could be better. I was suffering from unconscious incompetence . Ego said one thing, actions, that I was blind to, spoke volumes contrary to the damn ego. A skunk cannot smell its own scent, they say. Here are some of the things I have learned on my Toastmasters journey. I would suspect you have the same issues: I would umm, ahhh, tsk, and use verbal crutches anytime I would talk to somebody in senior leadership or when I would give a presentation to people in a group setting. I needed it because I would blend my words together and I would mumble or speak too fast for anyone to clearly understand me I did not enunciate while I would annunciate, nor was I able to articulate my narrative in a succinct manner. I was unable to or did not know how to mo...

Have you ever been to the circus or have you ever seen videos of the clown car? A bunch of clowns cramped inside, clambering out one after another. Yet you never really know who is driving. They had no purpose other than piing in with most likely no specific directions, no specific purpose other than being slightly silly? In case you are slightly analytical and curious about how they fit so many clowns into cars, Car and Driver devised some physics to justify the science behind clown car stuffing . “plenty of room in this beauty” photo by The Creative Exchange on  Unsplash When you think of the image of the clown car where multiple clowns cycle in and out of the vehicle, running in various directions, switching sides, changing locations, you lose track of who is where and which ones are in the show. The misdirection, constant change and people moving all over the place can cause you to lose track of who is doing what. Unfortunately, some organizations are much like cl...

As you know, as a leader, you should be taking the time to train your replacement . One of the easiest ways to train your replacement is to ensure that you are tasking and delegating activities to those that you have selected in your succession planning as a possible replacement. “you want me to do this?” photo by rawpixel on  Unsplash Exercise your ability to effectively delegate and task activities to the lowest level employees or peers where possible. This gives your team a greater opportunity for growth at the lowest possible cost for the organization. Additionally, when delegating activities and tasks to your employees and your peers, these individuals that you want to grow, it enriches their experience, it increases their capability, leading to greater engagement, and advances the organization by level loading the team and expanding the capacity of the organization. It develops relationships . You are building a depth chart to lean on for possible shortages due to g...