Seeking Coastal Utopia

Something happened. Something got broken, something was ruined, something did not go as planned. Now what? “I have to hurry up and do this wrong!” photo by Christopher Johnson on  Unsplash Freak out! Nooo-oo. Can we just stop and give up? Again, no. Absolutely not! No, you cannot curl up into a fetal position and start sucking your thumb either. You need to get up, put on your big kid pants, and make a decision to move forward quickly, to recover. If anything, we gained wisdom. We now know something new! We are able to learn from that experience! We now know what NOT to do next time and we probably now know what we need to do next. Or maybe we really don’t? Your project has gone sideways and you are out of money and is significantly underwater. The staff has too many other competing priorities, is it freak out time? Certainly — but only a little. It is what it is. You cannot change what has happened. You can not change the past. Now what? Embrace ...

Are you sure that you are doing the right thing? “Should I make dinner or weld the trailer frame?” photo by Christopher Burns on  Unsplash What is the right thing? Whatever it is, are you sure you are supposed to be doing what you are doing right now? How did you get to this point, and not realize that you are working (or not working) on the right thing? I struggle with this myself even as I sit here and write this blog. I believe I should be exercising, using fitness as a stress reducer, using it to remain healthy. Staying healthy so I can provide for my family. Watch my children grow old. Should that be the most important thing? the pendulum continues to swing… photo from the Omnibus Theater My problem is the pendulum swings too far and I either spend too much time pasted to the computer working or creating blogs or I spend too much time exercising, running down the miles. I rarely ever find that right balance which forces me to ask — am I doing the right thing, ...

When our boss* comes to us to ask you to do something, do you ever say no? It is probably depending on which boss that it is, but most of us probably say “yes” and do the work.  We say "yes" even though we already have a plateful of work in front of us, and falling behind on the similar work. It is rare that a person says “no” to the boss and we need to figure out how that balance can be beneficial for both relationships. For those of you that say “no” outright, this is for you, too. “You are the best and I need you to get this done” by rawpixel on  Unsplash Most people realize that work is necessary. It provides us with the currency to purchase stuff. Important stuff like food, shelter, and clothing . It allows us to purchase things we want too, the toys like a medium format digital camera or a tranquility pod . We do not want to lose that opportunity to earn that paycheck. We do what we can to provide the right answer to keep us in good graces with th...

Photo by Kay on  Unsplash Decisions are hard. Making a choice is surprisingly difficult, especially when you have a mutual interest in each possible decision result. These results could be considered “good” and “bad” results. Sure, a very binary response — on or off, yes or no, pass or fail, one and zero. There are times when the results are shades of gray, not necessarily optimal results but not the worst results. You just need to make a decision, you need to make a choice, especially in the gray areas. In reality, the only bad decision is to make no decision. Without getting too ironic, you could argue that making no decision is in itself a decision. I would not disagree with you when it comes to the perfection of language, especially such that a conscious choice to not make a decision is, in itself, a decision. We are defining the ability to make choices, to make decisions, and live with those results. To qualify this argument, these decisions are not considered life o...

This is tough. This is big. Standing up for anything is hard. Difficult decisions need to be made. Discomfort creeps into your chest, your guts. Your soul. “man on body of water during daytime” by Mubariz Mehdizadeh on  Unsplash Do you fold like a cheap lawn chair, or do you stand proud and strong and weather the storm?  Face into the wind, one step at a time, fighting and clawing for every inch forward? You damn well should. Crush your fears and be strong against the tide. That is why you are here, you are strong and want to be stronger. This is why you are in the role you are in. This is why you level up; to be better than sheep and lemmings . Fight mediocrity. Fight passiveness. Fight entropy. Fight apathy. Now, could you sell your soul? Find a job with the least amount of responsibility with the most pay? It probably doesn’t exist in the way you imagine it. Could you jump from one role to another for $XXX more today? Tomorrow? If y...

Fear. Abject, mind-numbing, paralyzing fear. Photo by Kiwihug on  Unsplash We have fears that are far from life or death situations. Fear freezes us, makes us indecisive. We have a fight or flight mechanism that protects us from fear (see Lizard Brain ) assuming, of course, you need protection from that fear. Yet, if you decide to face your fear, to step toward your fear, you may find yourself in a new world that you never knew existed . There are different ways to face your fear, but many of them require a change in your behavior, or a change in your demeanor that leads to courage, to act on those fears . Turning that fear into anger (or even fury depending on the level of fear that exists) can be your guide. Not everyone has realized this is a choice they can make. Now in my case, this behavior may have been programming from an early age, or even the military mindset created from the Marine Corps (Semper Fidelis brothers), but fear is a catalyst for me. It is the reason ...